How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking as a Software Engineer
Applying lessons from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to software engineering
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a highly influential self-help book that has guided generations in improving their interpersonal skills and communication since its publication in 1936. Written by Dale Carnegie, the book offers timeless principles and techniques for building positive relationships, fostering collaboration, and becoming more persuasive. Its enduring popularity and impact on personal and professional development demonstrate its significance in the field of self-improvement and human relations.
The chapter “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking” in Dale Carnegie’s book provides practical advice on persuading others and gaining their support in various situations. It emphasizes the importance of understanding different perspectives, finding common ground, and creating a positive atmosphere for discussions. By following these principles, readers can more effectively influence others while maintaining strong relationships and fostering collaboration.
Applying the concepts of “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking” in the context of software engineering can be beneficial for fostering teamwork, collaboration, and innovation. Here are some ways you can implement these principles in software engineering:
Avoid arguments
When discussing technical solutions, focus on collaboration and finding common ground instead of trying to prove that your approach is the best one.
When discussing the choice of programming languages, focus on the pros and cons of each option rather than insisting that your preferred language is the best.
If teammates have different opinions on the architecture, collaborate to identify the strengths and weaknesses of each approach rather than arguing in favor of a single one.
Show respect for others’ opinions
Acknowledge the expertise and ideas of your colleagues. Even if you disagree, treat their opinions with respect and be open to alternative viewpoints.
When a colleague suggests using a different design pattern, consider their rationale and give it fair consideration instead of dismissing it outright.
If a teammate has concerns about a specific feature, listen to their reasoning and discuss potential alternatives or improvements.
Admit mistakes quickly
If you make a mistake or realize that your initial approach was flawed, own up to it and learn from the experience.
If you realize that your code has caused a bug, own up to it and work with the team to find a solution.
If you initially advocated for a certain technology but later found it to be unsuitable, acknowledge the issue and support the team in finding a better alternative.
Begin discussions in a friendly manner
When discussing code, design, or architectural decisions, approach conversations with a positive attitude and a willingness to listen.
When discussing a code review, start by acknowledging the effort put into the code and express your willingness to help improve it.
If you need to address a performance issue, approach the conversation by emphasizing your shared goal of creating efficient and performant software.
Start with points of agreement
Identify shared goals, values, or areas of consensus before diving into the details of a proposal.
When discussing database choices, begin by agreeing on the need for scalability and reliability before delving into the specifics of each option.
If the team is split on UI/UX design, start by identifying the shared objective of creating a user-friendly and accessible interface.
Encourage others to share their thoughts
Give your colleagues the opportunity to express their ideas and concerns, and listen actively to their perspectives.
During team meetings, ask for input from all members, and create an environment where everyone feels comfortable voicing their opinions.
When brainstorming new features or improvements, encourage team members to contribute ideas and feedback.
Help others feel ownership of ideas
Whenever possible, integrate your colleagues’ suggestions into your proposal, and give credit where it’s due.
If a teammate suggests an optimization for a certain algorithm, incorporate their suggestion and give them credit for the improvement.
When multiple team members contribute to a design decision, ensure that everyone’s contributions are acknowledged and valued.
See things from others’ perspectives
Validate their concerns and emotions, and acknowledge their expertise and knowledge.
If a colleague is concerned about the complexity of a proposed solution, consider their perspective and evaluate whether the trade-offs are worth the benefits.
When discussing priorities, understand that team members may have different opinions based on their roles and responsibilities within the project.
Be sympathetic to others’ ideas and desires
Validate their concerns and emotions, and acknowledge their expertise and knowledge.
If a team member is passionate about adopting a certain technology, acknowledge their enthusiasm and explore how it could benefit the project.
If a colleague is worried about meeting deadlines, empathize with their concerns and work together to find ways to manage the workload.
Appeal to shared values and principles
Emphasize the benefits of your proposal in terms of the team’s or organization’s goals, such as improved code quality, maintainability, or performance.
When proposing a refactoring effort, emphasize the shared goal of creating maintainable and modular code that will benefit the team in the long run.
When advocating for a more thorough testing process, frame it in terms of the team’s commitment to delivering high-quality software.
